nineveh_uk: Picture of fabric with a peacock feather print. (peacock)
I really didn't mean to spend time today writing metafic on the Law of Conservation of Cock Size in some nebulous historical period of badly-spelled English,* but I did. I blame [personal profile] lilliburlero for the inspiration, and [personal profile] antisoppist for hosting the original commentfic. And of course the anonymous member of fandom who formulated the concept in the first place. I am calling it a writing exercise.

You may find is on AO3 here.

*Or badlie-spelt Englishe. It takes a surprising amount of time to insert it.
nineveh_uk: Illustration that looks like Harriet Vane (Harriet)
The silver lining of having a cold is that I have finally managed to start watching this series of Doctor Who (haven't seen the last two episodes, no spoilers please). I'm enjoying it quite a lot, but I did spend the first episode imagining what it would be like to be the Head of Department in a department with the Doctor in it...

------

'We're supposed to have an agreement. I give you an office, a lecture slot, and an admittedly modest salary. In return, you teach what you like with no questions asked, and give me four REF-able articles. Four 4* REF-able outputs that I can actually submit, unlike the ones you emailed me last week.'

'What's wrong with them?'

'They're on medieval Armenian poetry and we're the philosophy department.'

'Where's your imagination? I'm sure you can find a use for them. They're very good articles.'

'I know , I had them read by someone who can actually read Armenian. She said that they were the best work she'd seen in her career, and incidentally wherever did you find that new manuscript?

'I know that you don't like the REF, Doctor. Most of your colleagues don't like it either. As the person who has to deal with everybody else not liking it, I inevitably hate it. But until you give me four articles in a subject relevant to an existing University department or, if you prefer, invent time travel and stop it happening in the first place, I shall continue to nag you to ensure that you adhere to the terms of our agreement. Here's a list of departments. Four outputs, or time travel, Doctor, it's up to you.'

[worp worp]

'Of course we can add medieval Armenian poetry to the lecture list next year. Now if you could just remember that I will need your entry for the Great University Bake-Off Biscuit Challenge by Friday that would be great.'

-----

Meanwhile in the real-life department of Be Careful What You Wish For Studies, this gem from the Wikipedia article on the RAE:

The committee received submissions of research statements from 37 subject areas ("cost centres") within Universities, along with five selected research outputs.

[...]

A subsequent research assessment was conducted in 1989 under the name "research selectivity exercise" by the Universities Funding Council. Responding to the complaint of the Universities that they weren't allowed submit their "full strength," Swinnerton-Dyer allowed the submission of two research outputs per every member of staff.


And so the madness began.
nineveh_uk: Illustration that looks like Harriet Vane (Harriet)
I really did. I have just discovered the official video to I Would Do Anything for Love, which looks like it is the most expensive Phantom of the Opera fanvid ever made*. It features a falling chandelier, oodles of candles, and a miserable, deformed, and hooded bloke who skulks around in the shadows waiting for a woman who appears inexplicably interested in him.**

I would have unironically adored it in 1993, had I known that it existed.



*With make-up rather like Buffy's vampires.

**Christine Daaé at least had the excuse of free singing lessons offering a rather better career, not to mention the mind games.
nineveh_uk: Illustration that looks like Harriet Vane (Harriet)
I have written my most evil fic ever. More evil than Harriet and Peter furry roleplay. More evil than Peter with Alzeimher’s disease. I have written ... pet death.
nineveh_uk: Picture of hollyhocks in bloom. Caption "WTF hollyhocks!" (hollyhocks)
Youngest Sister is here for the weekend, and we thought we'd look up what this week's Studio Ghibli offering was at the cinema. Alas, I think not, after reading this blurb for the film Ponyo:

After running away from the sea she calls home, an effervescent young fish-girl is rescued and befriended by a five-year-old human boy called Sosuke.

Naming her Ponyo, Sosuke soon comes to realise the heartbreaking impracticality of their budding romance.


I think that even without the expertise in reading things into text brought about by an English Lit degree and years of fandom I'd probably be saying 'no' to that one. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure it's a charming tale of friendship, but I think I'll wait a fortnight for The Wind Rises.
nineveh_uk: Illustration that looks like Harriet Vane (Harriet)
On AO3, An Archetypal Schloss. Patrick Leigh Fermor/Tanz der Vampire crossover.

Caught in the wilds in treacherous weather, Patrick Leigh Fermor seeks shelter in a Transylvanian castle. It's not the first schloss that Patrick has visited in the course of his journey on foot through central Europe, but is he prepared for the perilous hospitality of the Graf von Krolock and his son?

This fic is the fault of [personal profile] white_hart, whose comment "But why does no-one appear to have written a crossover between Patrick Leigh Fermor's Between the Woods and the Water and Rocky Horror?" gave me the idea of this fic before I had read any more of Leigh Fermor than the extracts of Mani in my Greek guide book. Then she lent me the books. I have since purchased my own, as they are terrific in their own right and not simply as begetters of crackfic.

There is still no crossover between Between the Woods and the Water and Rocky Horror, but I hope that this is close enough to serve.

A note on the canons:

Patrick Leigh Fermor's books A Time of Gifts and Between the Woods and the Water* (together with a third posthumously-published volume I haven't read yet) are the account of one of history's great gap years, as 18 year old Patrick sets out to walk from the Hook of Holland to Constantinople. En route he stays in a wide range of barns, inns, a Salvation Army hostel, with a host of friendly people from bargemen to students to woodcutters, and in the schlosses of a string of aristocratic relics of the Austro-Hungarian Empire, where he is mentored by his older hosts and entertained by their offspring. The books, written over 50 years after the journey, are a fascinating look back at a world that was about to vanish entirely, a fact of which the older author is painfully aware, and the youth oblivious. In 1933, young Patrick's adventures had the charm of novelty, but he was also evidently tremendously personally engaging, and it can't have hurt that he was rather good-looking.

Tanz der Vampire is a German-language musical that follows the adventures of Alfred, the young assistant to a vampire-hunting professor, as they go horribly wrong. Attempting to save an innkeeper's daughter from the clutches of the vampire Count von Krolock, Alfred finds himself a guest at the Count's castle where he experiences some very bad dreams, gets hit on by the Count's son, and fails to save the girl. The girl didn't want to be saved, anyway.

*Not Death Twixt the Woods and the Water, that's the Harriet Vane crossover.
nineveh_uk: Illustration that looks like Harriet Vane (Harriet)
A sort of resolution is that henceforth when I have ideas for stories I should note them down rather than try to keep them in my head for years before eventually deciding I have time to write them. I don't have to write them straight away, just make a note. Naturally therefore noting something down turned into writing it more or less straight away*. I'm not entirely sure that this ought to be 2016 as I mean it to go on, but productivity counts for something, right? Even if the contents are completely mad.

So yes, fic. At A03: Uneclipsed

As for the content, it is, er, Dorothy Parker RPF/Tanz der Vampire crossover. I can't help it, it's the way my mind works. One minute you're listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart with vampires, next you're putting an English degree to dangerous use to reflect that the scenario fits beautifully against a Dorothy Parker poem, and then a month later you remember that you thought that and decide that clearly a crossover is the way to go.

It is a jeu d'esprit that I can't honestly think that it is of any interest to those who don't know the canon, so as a reward for reading thus far here is Parker reading One Perfect Rose instead.




*I blame walking to work on Tuesday
nineveh_uk: Illustration that looks like Harriet Vane (Harriet)
Having missed Spectre, and put off Carol until the Christmas break, I finally managed to get myself to the cinema not only once this week, but twice, indeed on successive days.

Bridge of Spies When I say that this was an excellent old-fashioned film, I mean that in the best way. It was possessed of such old-fashioned virtues as a strong script, coherent and engaging narrative, good pacing, fine cinematography, and top quality acting from all concerned. The film dramatizes an incident in 1960, in which a Soviet spy was exchanged by the USA for a US pilot whose spy plane was shot down over the USSR (the U-2 Incident), plus a student who got himself in the wrong place at the wrong time. Though the events of the story are greatly compressed, and there is little exploration of the wider context, the basic historical outline of the spy story is apparently fairly accurate. Tom Hanks and Mark Rylance are terrific as the leads, but there are also fine performances from the younger actors playing the US pilot and student, and by Amy Ryan as Donovan’s wife (also a tribute to the script, which resists the temptation to make her a metaphor for American small-mindedness, by leaving that role to the American officials who are being small-minded), and the eternal issue of how to deal with the accents of Russian and German characters speaking English is got round by casting Russian and German actors. Engaging and entertaining from start to finish, definitely recommended.

The Nutcracker, live broadcast of the Royal Ballet production from the ROH (see link for trailer). The music was sublime. The dancing was fabulous. The costumes were gorgeous. There's just one tiny thing...

I'm not saying the plot of The Nutcracker is ludicrous, but it's an excuse for dancing in the way that huddling for warmth is an excuse for fanfic porn.

I'm not saying the plot of The Nutcracker is ludicrous, but it gets more interesting in the second act when there isn't one.

I'm not saying the plot of The Nutcracker is ludicrous, but I ended up making sense of it as Drosselmeyer the toy-maker's forbidden love for his nephew.

Or as my father put it, it's a shop window plot, there solely to display the exhibits, namely a pretty Christmassy set and cute dancing children (act 1), and spectacular exhibition dancing (act 2). By the end of act 1 I had decided that good as the dancing was, I would never need to see it again. My life does not need toy soldiers vs. mice warfare in it. By the end of act 2, which is just a bunch of exhibition dances one after the other, I was converted. At least to act 2.

The dancing is gorgeous. The sugar-plum fairy and prince section was absolutely staggering and on its own would be worth the price of admission. It also illustrated the extraordinary tightness of ballet tights that appeared to be spray-painted on as the camera view showed the prince's thigh muscles quivering in the leaps. Mention must also be made of Gary Avis, playing Drosselmeyer as if auditioning to represent earth at the 2016 Galactic Cape-Twirling Championships. And passionately in love with his nephew. One of the cinema audience response tweets run across the screen at the end suggested there should be a Drosselmeyer spin-off. I am 100% behind this, just as long as it is the incestuous goth aesthetic version. With capes.
nineveh_uk: Illustration that looks like Harriet Vane (Harriet)
Did you know that Total Eclipse of the Heart was originally written as a love-song for a never-happened musical version of Nosferatu? Me neither. Nor did I know that it had subsequently been used in a different musical, the Austrian Tanz der Vampire (link in English), a musical version of Polanski’s The Fearless Vampire Killers, of which I was a teenage fan* in my ‘read/watch everything about vampires’ stage.

I learned this fact at the end of last week, and inevitably therefore have been enlivening working through the massive ironing backlog** while watching said musical on YouTube. Fortunately I don’t know Meat Loaf’s oeuvre, so I haven’t spotted the songs recycled from that. It’s all magnificently bonkers and surprisingly entertaining, and I really want to see it live, except that would mean going to Germany because there was a disastrously re-written Broadway production in the early 2000s that has torpedoed any further English language attempts for the foreseeable future. Anyway, Total Eclipse of the Heart makes far more sense once it’s about vampires, the German version would be an amazing karaoke duet, here it is. This version doesn’t have subtitles, but you don’t really need them to get the sense of the massive OTT-ness, complete with swirly cape action.



Sadly I fear the literal video version of this song, fun as it is, would be less engaging:

(Long intro)
Sometimes in the night I wander round on the stage and there’s nothing much to do.
(Long intro)
Sometimes in the night the audience wishes that something else would happen on stage.
(Long intro)
Sometimes in the night I cling onto a pillar that looks randomly like a totem pole.


Etc.

*I have also just realised that the plot of TFVK is a sort of mirror version of Keats’ Eve of St Agnes.

**All summer clothes now washed, ironed, and put away, hurrah!
nineveh_uk: Illustration that looks like Harriet Vane (Harriet)
No one voted for steady Freddie not because he’s corrupt, nor because it's an unimportant comment, but because it's literally true. No-one voted for Steady Freddie because Beta Colony is a dictatorship of the proletariat. The nickname reflects the fact that he is felt to lack revolutionary zeal.

Is it actually stated anywhere in the canon that Beta Colony is a democracy, or is it merely assumed by the reader?

*

On attempting to rescue Duv from being a class traitor...

Holonews interview with Duv Galeni, President of the People's Republic of Barrayar*:

'I admit that when I first turned from the Komarran Resistance and my family history, I was lead by false consciousness. And yet the foundation of that consciousness was a grain of truth, that the future of the Komarran people lay not in the restoration of the oligarchs, but in an interplanetary solution for the benefit of the working population. I believed, then, that the solution lay in working in Barrayar - what I failed to see was which Barrayar I should work with. I studied political history, but it was the history of the Vor. It was only when I met my father, on earth, that I came to examine my roots and my reactions to them. Why did I resist his ideals? Why had I thrown in my lot with the Imperium? Out of hope for personal gain? Surely not - I might have made more money through connections on Komarr, and I knew that the highest echelons of Barrayaran society must remained closed to me. My father accused me of succumbing to 'the glittering tinsel of neo-fascism': those words were my political awakening , not because I believed his accusation, but because they lead me to the history of earth, and to communism.

I came to realise that my father was not a true revolutionary. His goal had been to restore Komarr to what it had been, to the oligarchs. Here lay no true freedom for the proletariat, but only a more benevolent Jackson's Whole, different by degree, but not in essentials. Why did the Komarran Resistance die as a serious political force? Because it was controlled by the capitalist class, who naturally allied themselves with their Barrayaran counterparts.

Moreover, as I learned more about the communist struggle, I felt less and less that it was right for Komarr to be free, if that meant free to work only for Komarr, while the Barrayaran proletariat suffered under the imperial yoke. The workers movement must be interplanetary, and to lead a Komarran revolution, I must begin on Barrayar.'

*strikes up the intergalactic version of the Internationale*

*There is not nearly enough jargon in this, forgive me.
nineveh_uk: Cover illustration for "Strong Poison" in pulp fiction style with vampish Harriet. (Strong Poison)
Would you like to sin
With Elinor Glyn
On a tiger skin?
Or would you prefer
To err with her
On some other fur?


You can’t say I didn’t promise something appalling. There’s no point trying to build up to this one, it is what it is. And what it is, is Peter/Harriet furry sex-tape fic.

Let me explain. The condemned are allowed a last word.

So, there was this story in the Daily Mail (so as we know, it’s absolutely true), and subsequently in the Independent. In summary, a man was charged with the possession of extreme pornography and was on bail for six months – with the prosecution only realizing that the tiger having sex with the woman in the rather fuzzy video was not a tiger (hence the extreme pornography bit), but was in fact a man in a tiger costume, complete with Kellogg’s Frosties cereal strapline. The prosecution was dropped.

And then someone on FFA posted this comment: 'Fellow Dorothy Sayers fans, please tell me that you, too, are thinking of Busman's Honeymoon and laughing uncontrollably.'

There are two things in life I cannot resist: the common cold, and a cracky Wimseyfic premise. So here it is. You will be relieved to hear that I do at least maintain my inability to write anything explicit, so PG rating, albeit the parents in question are insane.

No shabby tigers )
nineveh_uk: Illustration that looks like Harriet Vane (Harriet)
I am writing the most appalling crack fic Wimseyfic EVER. Honestly, even by my low standards this is utterly irredeemable.

It is rather fun, though. In an appalling sort of way.
nineveh_uk: picture of holly in snow (holly)
It’s that time of year again! The cards creep into the shops. Mince pies and whatever “Ecclefachan”* pies are start to appear on the shelves. Far, far away the attentive ear catches the sound of reindeer bells, and on a screen near you the first signs of Yuletide start to be seen. Which means that it is time for the return of How Will You Ruin Yuletide?

I first ruined Yuletide in 2009.

I did it in 2010 with a poll.

And again in 2011, on both LJ and DW.

In 2012 and 2013 I ruined Yuletide by not Ruining Yuletide. That is worst of all.

And now it is 2014, the nominations are in, the fandoms are being sorted, people are are having arguments about what should go in Yuletide letters, and whether saying you don’t want cannibalism in Flower Fairies fandom is kinkshaming.

So I have two choices. I could Ruin Yuletide by write a very long post about how to do everything right that is actually accurate and quite reasonable (except that it is 20,000 words long and starts a flamewar on [community profile] yuletide_coal that spills over into civil war in Quebec), and then break the spirit of every rule in my own fic.

Or I could do a Yuletide Hell game post. I choose the latter.

The rules are simple: write in comments the Yuletide prompt that you would hate to get. Others are then invited to try and write a sentence of it.

Like every other facet of Yuletide, it is of course more complicated. To be true to the spirit of Yuletide Hell, there is no possible degree by which your prompt could be too entitled, self-contradictory, and generally batshit. While optional details are entirely optional I nonetheless expect that all prompters on this page will have many optional details that they will fully expect their writers to cover, and will also be dreadfully, mortally offended if writers do not merely cover the prompt, but fail to intuit what the requester wanted but forgot to write down.

Here are mine to start off with...

(1) Measure for Measure. Angelo/Isabella. Thanks so much for writing this for me, Yuletider! I know that you’ll do something true to the spirit of Shakespeare’s play! Though don’t do iambic pentameter unless you can really measure up to the standard set by Will as I find bad poetry triggering. Angelo and Isabella are my OTP, so it’s such a pity that Isabella’s internalised misogyny and Vienna’s slut-shaming culture make her unable to respond in a sex-positive way to Angelo’s proposal. I’d love some fix-it fic that has Angelo teaching Isabella to respect her identity as a sexual being. Also, it’s so stupid that Juliet and Claudio don’t practice responsible contraception. I know it’s 1603, but NFP was available then and they should have educated themselves more responsibly, so no babyfic. Bloodplay and BDSM are canonical, so don’t leave them out.

(2) 17 Moments of Spring. Stirlitz/Schellenberg. Omegaverse. I just think that the confluence of the last days of the Third Reich and A/B/O could lend a really fascinating dimension to the story. Obviously in order to respect the very serious setting of the canon complete historical accuracy is a must. It is particularly important that you get the uniforms right.**

(3) Lord Peter Wimsey. Bunter. Bunter isn’t actually in the list of characters, because I didn't nominate the fandoms I planned to request because the Spirit of Yuletide means other people should nominate them for me while I nominate for things I want to write experimentally but actually hate, so I selected Any, but that doesn’t matter, he is still the main one you should write about. I have a very, very specific story in mind, and if you don’t write about this then obviously you are going to ruin Yuletide forever and also possibly cause me to go on the rampage and destroy all Christmas trees within a hundred miles. I’d like a post-war story that has Bunter start by wanting to help Peter to overcome his shell-shock, but he gets to like Peter being dependent on him and when he realizes that Peter doesn’t remember what happens during his nightmares, starts to coerce him into acting as his sex slave. But Bunter’s got an enormous sex drive (and that’s not the only enormous thing, lol!) and wants more sex, so he tricks Peter into thinking that hypnotherapy will help him, so that he can force him to have sex whenever he wants. Please respect Bunter’s demisexual identity.

BTW, I know that the Wimsey canon can be intimidating for a first-time writer, but don’t worry. As long as you avoid the most egregrious Americanisms and make sure you say things like “settee” instead of sofa, couch, or Chesterfield, and stick closely to Strunk and White, I’m sure you’ll be fine.

*Some sort of cross between Lancashire and Wales?

**Note in 2015. The recipient was lucky enough to receive an absolutely masterful fic for this prompt, in which Stirlitz’s cover is blown when he screamed in Russian during childbirth.
nineveh_uk: Screenshot of Wimsey and Bunter from the 1987 television production. (wimsey and bunter)
The splendid [personal profile] lilliburlero has liveblogged* The Healing Fountain, my fic in which Hilary Thorpe writes a romance novel with Bunter as the hero. I am now adopting the word "quotesex", which indeed describes 95% of all sex within Wimseyfandom.

I am supposed to be working from home writing the report on the Meeting of Doom. It is proving very heavy going. Now I am refreshed, I had better get back to it. Onwards!

*Ed. Now with the link.... Take it as a testimony to how deep in concentration I am on my report.
nineveh_uk: Screenshot of Wimsey and Bunter from the 1987 television production. (wimsey and bunter)
I posted, you were polled, this resulted.

Life is too short for the full version, but the edited version can be achieved while cooking dinner.

The 1950s Peter Wimsey Adventure That You Chose

‘Oh no,’ said Harriet, as the body came into view. It wore a familiar tweed suit. ‘It’s Hope.’

*

‘That doesn’t look right,’ said Peter, as the boat drew nearer. He shouted something at the diver, his words blown away on the wind, but the man seemed to hear. He bent over the corpse and seized the hair.

‘Peter, what is he – ’ It came away in his hand, a dark wig revealing a man’s closely-cropped head beneath it.

‘Who on earth,’ said Harriet, ‘has managed to get himself drowned while dressed up as Bunter’s wife?’

*

Read more... )
nineveh_uk: Illustration that looks like Harriet Vane (Harriet)
Not quite sure how that happened. 12 ½ working days until Christmas – great, except that I have quite a lot of Christmas shopping yet to do... As ever at this time of term I am extremely tired, but I haven’t got anything on this coming weekend (other than making my sister’s Christmas present, quite a lot of housework, writing, at some point I must look at my CV, really need to start running again* etc.) and planning to keep it that way

[community profile] picowrimo is over for another year. I had my best pico ever, with a word count of 11,300 and a lot of advancing of the plot. I haven’t any since Friday, because I’ve been utterly exhausted, but I’m aiming for another 3000 words before Christmas. At this rate, I may actually finish the story this winter. It is, alas, utterly ridiculous, and from time to time I wish that my longest Wimseyfic by far were not mpreg crossover crack, but unfortunately removing the mpreg aspect is not possible for artistic reasons. I know that sounds about as convincing as the excuses for nude scene in films, but it’s true! Not least because it would leave me with a big plothole concerning the reason for Wimsey’s presence in the locality when the murder is committed.

AKICOLJ/DW Does anyone have a good recipe for Lebkuchen? Having tasted the real thing courtesy of my September Austrian holiday (it lasted about 48 hours after I was home), the supermarket stuff just doesn’t cut it.

The Men’s Room, 90s TV series with Bill Nighy and Harriet Walter, has been released on DVD and I have treated myself to it. I was delighted to learn from the back of the box that the characters are sociologists (must ask my father if he’s seen it, and if not lend), but I had got the impression that it was a comedy with some black jokes and quite a lot of sex. I am a bit more concerned to learn that it’s a “hard-hitting serial, set during the Thatcher years.” I was hoping for a bigger emphasis on light-hearted fun.

*I say “again”, really I mean at all. I did go in September, but then I pulled a muscle, long since recovered from so no proper excuse.
nineveh_uk: Illustration that looks like Harriet Vane (Harriet)
In the course of looking up references to guns in the Wimsey canon, I came across this line in Dragon’s Head,

‘Now run into my bedroom, and in the bottom of my wardrobe you will find a bundle of stout cord.’

Tell us, Lord Peter, are midnight burglars a regular occurrence in Piccadilly, or do you keep the rope for other purposes?

Since Wimsey’s nephew knows about this, and has a tendency to be indiscrete, I’m now imagining what he might have said to Harriet when he bumped into her in Gaudy Night...

***

‘Why should anybody object to Uncle Peter? He’s no beauty and he’d talk the hind leg off a donkey; but he’s dashed well-off and he’s got good manners and he’s in the stud-book.’ Lord Saint-George balanced himself on the edge of Mercury and peered into its tranquil waters. ‘Where’ve the carp taken themselves off to? They never resist meringues. Perhaps the fountain’s got hidden depths. So’s Uncle Peter, come to think of it. I stayed with him once when I was a kid – measles at school, parents away, uncle steps in – and we had an attack of burglars and Uncle Peter tied them up with this rope in the bottom of his wardrobe. The rope, that is, not the burglars – they were in the library. I didn’t think anything of it at the time, but a chap grows up and the French novels get passed around and all that, and obviously one gets to wondering.’

‘Obviously,’ said Harriet, fascinated by this new light on the subject.

***
nineveh_uk: Cover illustration for "Strong Poison" in pulp fiction style with vampish Harriet. (Strong Poison)
I have freshers’ flu, and as a result am mostly lying on the sofa not doing much. I seem, nonetheless, to have found the energy to write Harriet Vane and Peter Wimsey aliens made them do it*. Blame [personal profile] marginaliana for prompting it. Actually, she prompted Peter and Bunter, but in working that out it was obvious that AMTDI had to be H/P for the angst factor. There may also have been past consideration of the Peter/Harriet dilemma. Clearly I should never let my brain rest, or terrible things will happen. Pre-GN.

*Not actual aliens.

The Revenge of Ali-Baba )
nineveh_uk: Cover illustration for "Strong Poison" in pulp fiction style with vampish Harriet. (Strong Poison)
I have a day of annoying small jobs to do, none of which are inspiring. Help to entertain me with a meme (seen somewhere on the internet and amended a bit).

Comment with the name of a ship from a fandom I know, and one or more of the following scenarios you’d like to torture me with and I will tell you what happened. Possibly even with a line or two of fic.

Fake dating
Bodyswap
Sexpollen/fuck or die/aliens made them do it
Dark!fic
Secret kinks
Their first kiss
Meeting the parents
Moving in together
A crossover of your choice
An au of your choice

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nineveh_uk: Picture of a wild rabbit with text "I hope your rabbit dies" (Default)
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