nineveh_uk (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
nineveh_uk) wrote2009-02-03 04:02 pm
nineveh_uk) wrote2009-02-03 04:02 pm
The cliches are coming!
I am feeling rather gratified that What if my Baby is a Squib was recced on ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
crack_van last week. Especially as it has reminded me of the existence of the Kransfeldt-Hammelkraft method.
On to the main purpose of the post, a meme from![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
azdak:
Fanfic tropes: bold the clichés you have written, and italicise those you've considered writing
I have managed to tot up a reasonable number of these. It helps that whilst I wildly disclaim writing romance, I actually do. What I don't write is anything rude. Except when I do. What really worries me is that I have read all of them except for baby!fic, although not necessarily read with enjoyment.
Genderswap: No.
Bodyswap: No.
Drunk!fic: No. Although characters, being (mostly) human, have at times got drunk.
Huddling together for warmth: Honesty compels me to admit that I have on one occasion thought of it - in the church in the Nine Tailors (although not, obviously, leading to nookie). I can see cliche featuring quite a lot in “If Wimseyfic were Potterfandom”. Most of it would be Bunter and Peter, but there’d be the odd occasion of Harriet and Peter getting caught in a flash flood on the way back from an outing and having to sleep in the car. Or Peter rescueing Harriet from drowing on the beach in HHC.
Undercover in a gay bar: No. I am now imagining Bunter, Peter, or Parker arguing as to who has to do it as part of the investigation. Parker says that Peter would be more convincing because he’s an effete aristocrat. Peter says that this is true and that thereby he would not be in said bar as he knows people of his own class from school, and can pick up servants on country house weekends, whereas Parker is obviously a repressed self-loathing policeman on the hunt for a bit of rough. Parker suggests that he would therefore be mistrusted and proposes Bunter. Bunter points out that he is always free to resign and hands it back to Parker. Peter then decides that clearly he is the only one man enough to do it, at which point the others instantly start arguing their claims and it ends up with Bunter, who knows the chef at the Cat’s Pyjamas and can assure himself of a convenient table and the better champagne. I wonder if there are any Snape fics for this one?
Pretending to be married: No. This is getting quite boring, isn’t it?
Secretly a virgin: Yes! Across the Raging Tide. Although it mainly seems to be a secret from the original author.
Amnesia: Does The Sparrow in the Hall count? Though Azkaban != amnesia, and there's no sex.
Cross-dressing: Yes again! Overmastered, with Harriet role-playing Bunter and thus far and away my rudest fic ever (including the Harry Potter badfic parody The Truth in the Oracle, which involves vampires, chains, incest-in-some-cultures, and goats). I think there should be more cross-dressing Wimseyfic, particularly in an am dram context. Surely Harriet was shoved into wearing trousers in school/college plays? Although I bet she was an awful actress. Peter, too, may have stalked the boards in a petticoat, and as for Bunter's music hall impersonations...
Forced to share a bed: Surely a gentleman sleeps on the floor? Though now that I think of it I have committed this, concerning the room with lavender-scented sheets in Unnatural Death, assuming that "forced" = "only one double room left".
Aliens make them do it: I still intend to write this. I think the Communist Resistance make them do it counts. And in fact it turns out that I have posted an extract from the WIP. It's the one after the doorknobs.
Wingfic: No. Although it occurs to me that given the Chalet girls not infrequently promise to be “wingless angels”* there are possibilities here.
Mpreg: Yes. Twice. A third time is promised and planned, if not yet manifest. Although as any fule kno mpreg in the Wizarding World is not true pregnancy, but rather the incubation by the male of the products of parthenogenesis.
Mistakenly assumed to be gay: No. Although someone ought to write that about Harriet. I supposed I arguably mistook Sirius Black as gay, but since the only evidence to the contrary is a picture on his bedroom wall specifically there to annoy his parents, I'll allow the jury to still be out on that one.
Let's play truth or dare: Yes. It’s even called Truth or Dare. As you may have spotted from the general theme, it reveals rather little about characters' sex lives.
Mary Sue fic: Two words: Andromeda Black. Oh, and Bellatrix and Narcissa. At greatest length in Aptitude and After the Ball, reaching its apotheosis in Andromeda Receives a Letter (though that is subtitled a fantasy).
Aphrodisiacs:Certainly not! Ungentlemanly, and the Black girls either don't need them or aren't interested.
Curtainfic: No. Although Narcissa decorating the manor could be entertaining.
Hurt/Comfort: I am not sure about this. I mean, there's plenty of hurting and comforting going on, but not necessarily in the same fic, and definitely not in the classic end-up-in-bed scenario. Maybe A Garden of Bright Images gets closest, whilst AU disastrous decision possibly wins in the hurt stakes. Damn! It only just occurs to me that I neglected to include hurt/comfort in The Truth in the Oracle, and so don't have anyone recovering from being tortured with a quick shag session.
Apocalypse fic: No. Well, except for Zombie Honeymoon.
Someone has a baby: Very short fic and You are older now, Mervyn. Baby Wimseys and baby Potterverse types turn up in a good number of others.
Baby!fic: If this means "in which the lead characters ARE themselves as babies" definitely not.
Telepathic soulbonding: No. Never read this, either.
Werewolves mate for life: No. Though there is the odd Lupin/Black mention in some of the Potterfic, and of course Helen Denver is mated for life because she'd rather be miserably married than miserably divorced. I do have a middle-aged Harriet and Peter in The Nose of Yesteryear and as ghosts in Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead, if that counts. They are certainly still mating.
*Surely wingless angels would be not so much good as very, very annoyed?
crack_van last week. Especially as it has reminded me of the existence of the Kransfeldt-Hammelkraft method. On to the main purpose of the post, a meme from
azdak:Fanfic tropes: bold the clichés you have written, and italicise those you've considered writing
I have managed to tot up a reasonable number of these. It helps that whilst I wildly disclaim writing romance, I actually do. What I don't write is anything rude. Except when I do. What really worries me is that I have read all of them except for baby!fic, although not necessarily read with enjoyment.
Genderswap: No.
Bodyswap: No.
Drunk!fic: No. Although characters, being (mostly) human, have at times got drunk.
Huddling together for warmth: Honesty compels me to admit that I have on one occasion thought of it - in the church in the Nine Tailors (although not, obviously, leading to nookie). I can see cliche featuring quite a lot in “If Wimseyfic were Potterfandom”. Most of it would be Bunter and Peter, but there’d be the odd occasion of Harriet and Peter getting caught in a flash flood on the way back from an outing and having to sleep in the car. Or Peter rescueing Harriet from drowing on the beach in HHC.
Undercover in a gay bar: No. I am now imagining Bunter, Peter, or Parker arguing as to who has to do it as part of the investigation. Parker says that Peter would be more convincing because he’s an effete aristocrat. Peter says that this is true and that thereby he would not be in said bar as he knows people of his own class from school, and can pick up servants on country house weekends, whereas Parker is obviously a repressed self-loathing policeman on the hunt for a bit of rough. Parker suggests that he would therefore be mistrusted and proposes Bunter. Bunter points out that he is always free to resign and hands it back to Parker. Peter then decides that clearly he is the only one man enough to do it, at which point the others instantly start arguing their claims and it ends up with Bunter, who knows the chef at the Cat’s Pyjamas and can assure himself of a convenient table and the better champagne. I wonder if there are any Snape fics for this one?
Pretending to be married: No. This is getting quite boring, isn’t it?
Secretly a virgin: Yes! Across the Raging Tide. Although it mainly seems to be a secret from the original author.
Amnesia: Does The Sparrow in the Hall count? Though Azkaban != amnesia, and there's no sex.
Cross-dressing: Yes again! Overmastered, with Harriet role-playing Bunter and thus far and away my rudest fic ever (including the Harry Potter badfic parody The Truth in the Oracle, which involves vampires, chains, incest-in-some-cultures, and goats). I think there should be more cross-dressing Wimseyfic, particularly in an am dram context. Surely Harriet was shoved into wearing trousers in school/college plays? Although I bet she was an awful actress. Peter, too, may have stalked the boards in a petticoat, and as for Bunter's music hall impersonations...
Forced to share a bed: Surely a gentleman sleeps on the floor? Though now that I think of it I have committed this, concerning the room with lavender-scented sheets in Unnatural Death, assuming that "forced" = "only one double room left".
Aliens make them do it: I still intend to write this. I think the Communist Resistance make them do it counts. And in fact it turns out that I have posted an extract from the WIP. It's the one after the doorknobs.
Wingfic: No. Although it occurs to me that given the Chalet girls not infrequently promise to be “wingless angels”* there are possibilities here.
Mpreg: Yes. Twice. A third time is promised and planned, if not yet manifest. Although as any fule kno mpreg in the Wizarding World is not true pregnancy, but rather the incubation by the male of the products of parthenogenesis.
Mistakenly assumed to be gay: No. Although someone ought to write that about Harriet. I supposed I arguably mistook Sirius Black as gay, but since the only evidence to the contrary is a picture on his bedroom wall specifically there to annoy his parents, I'll allow the jury to still be out on that one.
Let's play truth or dare: Yes. It’s even called Truth or Dare. As you may have spotted from the general theme, it reveals rather little about characters' sex lives.
Mary Sue fic: Two words: Andromeda Black. Oh, and Bellatrix and Narcissa. At greatest length in Aptitude and After the Ball, reaching its apotheosis in Andromeda Receives a Letter (though that is subtitled a fantasy).
Aphrodisiacs:Certainly not! Ungentlemanly, and the Black girls either don't need them or aren't interested.
Curtainfic: No. Although Narcissa decorating the manor could be entertaining.
Hurt/Comfort: I am not sure about this. I mean, there's plenty of hurting and comforting going on, but not necessarily in the same fic, and definitely not in the classic end-up-in-bed scenario. Maybe A Garden of Bright Images gets closest, whilst AU disastrous decision possibly wins in the hurt stakes. Damn! It only just occurs to me that I neglected to include hurt/comfort in The Truth in the Oracle, and so don't have anyone recovering from being tortured with a quick shag session.
Apocalypse fic: No. Well, except for Zombie Honeymoon.
Someone has a baby: Very short fic and You are older now, Mervyn. Baby Wimseys and baby Potterverse types turn up in a good number of others.
Baby!fic: If this means "in which the lead characters ARE themselves as babies" definitely not.
Telepathic soulbonding: No. Never read this, either.
Werewolves mate for life: No. Though there is the odd Lupin/Black mention in some of the Potterfic, and of course Helen Denver is mated for life because she'd rather be miserably married than miserably divorced. I do have a middle-aged Harriet and Peter in The Nose of Yesteryear and as ghosts in Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead, if that counts. They are certainly still mating.
*Surely wingless angels would be not so much good as very, very annoyed?
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I think you should write this!
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Ed: because I cannot type.
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Bwahahahaha! This is hilarious! Especially Peter's exceedingly rude remarks about Charles.
Mistakenly assumed to be gay: No. Although someone ought to write that about Harriet.
I'm sure lots of people have thought this about Peter, though. As you say, he's an effete aristocrat (and one who still hasn't got married by his mid-forties; his eternal courtship of the unattainable Harriet might well be a beard).
And I don't know what anyone else's reading of the Bunter-washes-Peter-under-the-pump-at-Talboys scene was, but if Sayers didn't intend me to See Things in it, then that probably counts as Mistakenly Assumed.
Other than that, I note that most of your Crimes against Literature were committed in the Potterverse, so I shall graciously overlook them.
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I bet lots of people think it about Peter, too (including one piece of lit crit that alas did not say why he thought it), at least on meeting him. Maybe he courted Harriet because his investments had suffered in the Depression and he couldn't afford to keep opera singers when he wasn't even getting any fun out of it?
I am with you on the Talboys Pumping, especially considering the context of the rest of the book.
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Perhaps he thought it was so bleeding obvious it wasn't worth mentioning?
Maybe he courted Harriet because his investments had suffered in the Depression
Nah, I reckon he was in love with Robert Templeton, and going out with his creator was the closest he could get to him.
I am with you on the Talboys Pumping
As Buffy said to Spike, "Why would I wanna pump you? [beat] I really just said that, didnn't I?"
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I had forgotten that bit of Buffy. I really must borrow my sister's DVDs.
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And hairy. Really, really hairy. Which I hope doesn't apply to Bunter.
We know he likes Templeton because he uses his name. Surely that's the male equivalent of writing "Mrs Robert Templeton" all over your pencil case?
Bunter role-playing Templeton in a chest wig?
This is so true! The question therefore becomes whether Harriet ever finds out...
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(And as far as I'm concerned, huggling + bed-sharing under duress + hurt/comfort are all facets of the same die, so I'm claiming a cliche score of 1. *whistles*
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huggling + bed-sharing under duress + hurt/comfort are all facets of the same die
This is true. And even DLS does it, in fact, when Peter is "comforting" Harriet in GN and it is obvious that his mouth is doing some heavy breathing somewhere around her ear.
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I am glad I wasn't eating or drinking when I read that! something horribly wrong and British Rail ham sandwich - so, so wrong. And yet, so, so right...
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Can I post this to
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Have You Any Grey Poupon?
Also, I don't think the dream would be any less upsetting if one had spawned a better quality of ham sandwich.
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Also, in the gay bar scenario, I think the deciding factor would be that Bunter is the sort of person who, when short of the readies, might turn up in a gay bar irrespective of his personal preferences.
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might turn up in a gay bar irrespective of his personal preferences
Certainly blackmail helps the income. Although if you wish to write gigolo!Bunter I won't complain.
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And "you should be in this fandom!" makes a nice change from "Oh, you're still here, are you?"
Time frame is wrong, but I think Bunter and 'Enry Straker from Man and Superman would make a lovely couple.
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ETA: Also, I don't think it ever says in so many words in Wimsey canon that Bunter is human, does it? Possibly prior to using the alias "Jack Harkness" he went by "Mervyn Bunter"...
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I think this is brilliant and that you should write it at once! (Miss Vine is the one with the pins,Miss Lydgate is the one with the proofs).
in so many words in Wimsey canon that Bunter is human
There is a line in Unnatural Death in which LPW says that Bunter is "human after all" - but as this is followed by Bunter saying that actually he doesn't need to take the day off and go to bed that's not actually proof ;-) Though I don't think he can actually be Jack Harkness, or Torchwood would be much better run!
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I very much want to read Bunter in a gay bar. Also, drunk!Bunter would be interesting. I find it somewhat hard to imagine, honestly.
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Bunter has a very different (skirt-chasing, music hall-singing, at times somewhat disreputable) personality when consorting with persons of his own class, or lower. So while I'm sure he would be mortified to the point of resignation if his lordship ever saw him drunk, I have no trouble imagining ex-Sergeant Bunter downing numerous pints in his local on his evening off. All in the cause of Detecting, of course.
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Poor Bunter :-(
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I am secritly amused that you instantly assume this to mean *fanfic resulting in porn*
*grin*