Eleven Things that Weren’t Written by Dorothy L. Sayers, V

[nineveh_uk]

Again, the usual disclaimers and spoiler warnings. I’ve been a bit nicer to them all this time.

Strong Poison

Harriet Vane, a free woman, found Eiluned Price and Sylvia Marriott waiting for her as she descended the stairs.

‘Darling!’ said Sylvia.

‘Three loud cheers!’ said Eiluned.

Harriet greeted them a little vaguely.

‘Where is Lord Peter Wimsey?’ she inquired. ‘I must thank him.’

‘I'm not sure,’ said Eiluned. ‘He was talking to that policeman but he got pulled away by somebody from the court, and I didn’t see where Lord Peter got to.’

Sylvia craned her neck extravagantly and scanned the room. ‘There he is! Lurking by that pillar. I think he’s seen us.’

‘He’d have to be blind not to,’ Eiluned said drily, ‘with you rubber-necking like that.’

Harriet, detecting Wimsey melting into the fake marble column, smiled encouragingly at him and he sidled unobtrusively across the room, holding his felt hat in one hand.

‘How are you?’

‘Still reeling a bit, I think. I’ll probably wake up tomorrow wondering if it’s all been a dream.’

‘Well, it’s over now.’

‘Thanks to you. No – really, Lord Peter. I know very well that if it hadn’t been for your efforts I’d be facing a very different – ’

‘Don’t talk about that now.’

‘There’s no point in running away from it. You’ve almost certainly saved my life. I really am most tremendously grateful and I can’t possibly repay you.’

‘But – dash it all – I don’t want repaying. I mean, it’s what I do, donchaknow, I’d have done the same for anybody. I’m only that happy it could be for you, not of course that you were in the whole ghastly mess in the first place, of course, but that, well...’

Sylvia took pity on him and interrupted.

‘Harriet, Eiluned’s gone to get the car. Will you be ready to make a dash for it in a minute or two?’

‘What? Oh, yes, of course.’

‘Don’t mind me,’ said Lord Peter. ‘I need a word with old Collins there. Look here, Miss Vane, we never finished that story. Will you lunch with me one day? I’ve so enjoyed talking with you, you know, though I can’t say that the environs have always been conducive to mutual confidence. Do say that you will.’

Harriet looked rather uncertain. ‘I’m not sure that I shall want to lunch anywhere just a present. The press –’

‘- will have something else to occupy them before the end of the week. They always do. It needn’t be the Ritz if you don’t like it. We’ll go somewhere quiet and then you can be sure that nobody will scoop the plot.’

‘In that case, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt –’

‘Splendid! I’ll write to you, if I may? I have to go down to Denver for a day or two, but don’t worry, I’ll be in touch.’

‘Very well.’ She held out her hand. ‘Thank you, Lord Peter.’

‘Good-bye.’ He took her hand, raised his hat, set it back on his head, and pattered off, Harriet staring vaguely after him and straightening her gloves. Sylvia grinned.

‘That man fancies you.’

Harriet turned away from Wimsey’s retreating back with a jerk. ‘Don’t be ridiculous.’

‘I’m not. Honestly, Harriet, he couldn’t take his eyes off you in the courtroom, poor darling, and goodness knows his brain must have been occupied with something when he was talking just now because I don’t believe for a moment that he’s nearly as much of a silly ass as he pretends.’

‘He’s not,’ said Harriet quickly.

‘There you are. There’s only one possible explanation.’

‘I’m sure you’re wrong.’

‘You may think what you like,’ said Sylvia, leading the way to the steps and the waiting throng of photographers, ‘but I am quite certain; I was right about who did the murder, and I’m going to be right about this.’

*

ETA: To those (looking at you, azdak), who think that Harriet Vane can’t vamp, the German publishers of Strong Poison disagree with you.

Comments

[marginaliana]

Oh, I enjoy Sylvia in this. I'm glad they got a bit of amusement among the insanity.

[tree_and_leaf]

Aww! You're right, that's a lot more cheerful.

[antisoppist.livejournal.com]

the German publishers of Strong Poison disagree with you.

And haven't ever been in an East Anglian belfry, assuming "Hochzeit kommt vor dem Fall" is the Nine Tailors. Until I found "Mord braucht Reklame", I was thinking it must be meant for Murder Must Advertise.

I love your Sylvia.

[missfoxie.livejournal.com]

Ohh, much better!

*is grinning happily now*

And I always love seeing all the different covers of the Harriet books. Sehr amusing.

[caulkhead.livejournal.com]

Harriet can vamp: it's canon!
German publishers can do some very odd things to detectve fiction, though: I swear I read one once where they changed the motive (if not the murderer) entirely.

[elsane.livejournal.com]

very nice; Sylvia is wonderful. (I'm curious: how long you think it will take them to sort themselves out?)

And that is the vampiest Harriet I have ever seen.

[azdak.livejournal.com]

BWAHAHAHAHA! Now that's a vamp. Hands up all those who also think it's an accurate depiction of Harriet...

This is such a sweet little story (although I rather think what it really screws up is not Strong Poison, which pretty much takes place as in canon, only without Harriet's amusing put-downs, but HHC). Peter really would have made life so much easier for himself if he hadn't gone barging in being facetious about marriage. But then I love him best when he feels the need to act the buffoon - Peter the Sex God of later books gets on my nerves from time to time, whereas piffling Peter never does.

Can't I tempt you to write an AU to your AU where Strong Poison takes place parallel to Bellona, and Peter's so busy thinking that all that a woman needs from a man is that he be faithful that he completely fails to fall for Harriet?

[fallingtowers.livejournal.com]

That's far more upbeat than the last one -- but does this alternative ending mean that we'd never get Gaudy Night?

With regard to the German covers, I can only point out that not all editions were that bad. The older ones simply featured photos of Ian Carmichael in the TV adaptations.

[tree_and_leaf]

That - meaning the picture - isn't Harriet, it's an imposter. Or possibly it's one of Helen's guests at the Unspeakably Awful Christmas at Denver? Of course, it is Goldmann, who are not exactly a classy firm. I wonder why some of the books seem to be published by them, some by Fischer, and some, if I can make out the picture correctly, by RoRoRo. Presumably something to do with foreign rights, but very odd. The only Sayers I've read in German is Murder Must Advertise, which was extremely well translated, and had an elegant stylised picture of the spiral staircase from above to boot.

[owl]

I like this departure from canon.

PLZ RITE MOAR.

[lyras.livejournal.com]

Aw, lovely! I do like Sylvia, drawing Harriet out as any irritating best friend would in that situation :).

Also, wow to that cover! *g*