Let's play Yuletide Hell!

[nineveh_uk]

As we wait for nominations for fandoms to go up, I think it is time for another round of Yuletide Hell!

The rules of the game are simple: write in comments the Yuletide prompt that you would hate to get. Others are then invited to try and write a sentence of it. Ed: Or just explain why your fail.

Remember, to be true to the spirit of Yuletide Hell, without which you will totally ruin Yuletide for the whole internet, your prompt cannot be too entitled, self-contradictory, and generally batshit. A reminder of the actual Yuletide rules: the writer is required to write in the fandom and using the characters specified by the requester. That is all. Optional details are entirely optional. Nonetheless, I expect that all prompters on this page will have many optional details that they will fully expect their writers to cover, and will also be dreadfully, mortally offended if writers do not merely cover the prompt, but fail to intuit what the requester wanted but forgot to write down.

A couple to get you started:

(1) The Blue Castle, Cissy Gay. I have such a kink for pregnancy fic! It would be awesome if you could write about how Cissy Gay got pregnant (but make sure that you promote safe sex because it’s really important that we use fic to educate people). Maybe she had an affair with Gilbert Blythe, lol, when he was teaching at the school at White Sands, because Anne had rejected him, and Cissy looks a bit like her. Then Cissy gets pregnant and Gilbert tries to drug her so he can force her to have an abortion, but Cissy wants to keep the baby even after she faints from morning sickness in church and everybody guesses and thinks she’s a slut. Sex-positive fics only, thanx!

(2) Bredon/Bunter. Bredon looks just like Peter and Bunter can’t help having dirty thoughts about him, but then Bredon finds out and they have a really hot affair. Obviously it’s really important to me that your fic not contain any fail or -isms and have due regard to the kyriarchy. Also, I think that non-con is really squicky so please don't write that (also that means no under-age, cuz if you can’t legally consent then it’s alwaysgoing to be non-con). Must be really explicit! Don’t make Bunter over 65, old people sex is SOOOOO gross ;-) I know that you're going to write something wonderful, I hope it's really long!

Comments

Re: The Hobbit

[legionseagle]

Oh, another square on my bingo card: the old "Some of my best friends are..." line

Re: The Hobbit

[ankaret]

On behalf of the bingo-calling community, I find your use of 'bingo card' classist.

Re: The Hobbit

[legionseagle]

I detest the neologism "classist". As anyone familiar with Marxist-Leninist dialectic will be aware, the basic class struggle is what gives rise to racism, sexism et al and the attempt to impose a faux-equivalence by using the term "classism" as though it were simply one among a range of systemitised inequalities rather than the root cause is simply disingenuous.

Re: The Hobbit

[nineveh_uk]

*serious hat* Certainly the total absence of knowledge of said dialectic in a bunch of people many of whom have not only a higher education, but one involving a significant humanities component, is a glaring absence from the LJ -ism scene, and for the worse. Though it is no doubt my European privilege that allows me to say that.

Re: The Hobbit

[ankaret]

Frankly I am far more appalled that neither of you have asked whether I am a member of the bingo-calling community and if not, why I should have chosen to silence them by speaking on their behalf.

Don't you care whether Yuletide is being spoiled by cultural appropriation or not? Or, for that matter, about the problems of habitual gamblers who can't hear the bingo-caller now he or she has been silenced?

Re: The Hobbit

[legionseagle]

It's an enormous gap because - at least when I started on LJ - I had a default assumption that at least basic knowledge of Marxist theory and its sheer importance in 19th and 20th century history in Europe was a given.

Re: The Hobbit

[serriadh]

How dare you bring up Marx and Lenin in a discussion about Yuletide. You may not be aware, but they were both atheists and thus would decry Yuletide and all its works. *sniff*

Re: The Hobbit

[legionseagle]

Oh, the usual lazy assumption that Yule=Christmas with all the cultural baggage that implies.

Re: The Hobbit

[serriadh]

Excuse me. Please don't assume my religious affiliation. I am perfectly aware of the non-Christian origins of Yule, and in fact celebrate the season using an original Celtic liturgy decked in yew blossom.

Re: The Hobbit

[nineveh_uk]

Do you use appropriate haz-prevention equipment for the yew?

Re: The Hobbit

[serriadh]

I use a herbal preparation recommended by my sabbat-mother.

Re: The Hobbit

[nineveh_uk]

As a practioner of Ásatrú, absolutely everyone should stop celebrating any winter solstice festival but mine RIGHT NOW! And only Ásatrú are allowed to practice mine. (Oh dear, oh dear, the internet tells me they have Yule on the 20th instead of the 24th. You'd think they'd get the night right.)

Re: The Hobbit

[ankaret]

Heathen!

Re: The Hobbit

[nineveh_uk]

Both of you, please do not mention gambling on this journal outside locked and filtered posts on which it has been confirmed through birth certificates that all concerned are over the age of 18.