nineveh_uk

Sometimes, there comes along a programme that seems almost literally made for you as a viewer, and in the run up to the 2022 Winter Olympics, The Olympic Draum (press release) is definitely the one for me. Having covered in recent years the Norwegian women's team, the Norwegian's men's team, and various individual famous Norwegians, NRK clearly felt the need for a fresh perspective in its run-up to the Olympics, and they found it. Seven 22-25 minute episodes following the UK cross-country ski team as they prepare for the Olympics, hampered only by their tiny budget*, wax technician being stuck in Sweden due to the pandemic, and of course the fact of being British. It looks like some lighthearted winter sporting fun.

The chances of this making it to UK media seem zero, so if you feel the urge to take a look, it is here, dialogue a mix of English and Norwegian.

*Here is the Norwegian team's world cup wax truck. The British have a multipurpose van.

I am supposed to be spending this weekend at antisoppist's. On account of being utterly exhausted and unable to face the train (plus a bit of coronavirus paranoia, nothing must keep me from skiing in a fortnight!), I am not. I am therefore trying to watch the crosscountry ski racing.

Eurosport only has 'ambient sound' streaming, with commentary on highlights this evening. NRK has worked out how to stop VPNs. I have even checked German Eurosport via VPN - also no commentary.

I am therefore watching the men's 50km cross-country race from Oslo in the manner in which some people watched Channel 4 - or now Sky - cricket, with the pictures on a muted TV and Test Match Special on the radio. Eurosport images, NRK sport radio on the computer. Oh yes, it is foggy there and the public has not been permitted in the stadium. Of course, I can actually understand only very little of the commentary, but at least it conveys the excitement. And I have got an app that gives standings at the time checkpoints. It sort of works, and accompanies the ironing.

It is lovely and sunny, so normally a walk would be a better alternative, but alas not today because I am attempting to rest as much as humanly possibly to try to get over this bug that has been a nuisance since January. Moral of the story, however inconvenient take the time off work the first time you are poorly.

ETA Too much effort. I'll watch the highlights and hopefully if it's a good race someone will put it on YouTube. Yesterday's women's race was brilliant.

So on Tuesday the Eurosport commentators made a sarcastic comment about Johannes Dürr, Austrian skier, EPO doper, and accidental inspiration for my fic In the Studio having fallen on a needle. Yesterday Austrian police raided team hotels in Seefeld where the cross-country skiing world championships are being held and apparently literally caught one of the five skiers arrested with a needle in his arm for some good old-fashioned blood doping. I am Not Impressed (by the skiers. Evidently criminalising doping has worked out quite well for the Austrian police).

It's the cross-country world championships in Seefeld, which is providing the perfect relaxation for me after work during a week when I've been feeling a bit tired. Doping scandals aside, it's proving a great competition. Ridiculous weather, occasionally ridiculous courses, good crowds, and fabulous skiing with gripping races.

Oh yes, and ridiculous clothing, with the British competitors yesterday bringing what Clueless described as 'exploring the challenging world of bare midriffs' to the sunny tracks. Andrew Musgrave demonstrates below.



Not a ridiculous result, though; a pretty amazing 8th place. When it's 16C or whatever it was yesterday, it probably helps to have spent your teenage years skiing in slush.

To not particularly great surprise, Winter Olympics all time great, Marit Bjørgen has decided that it is time to hang up the ski boots. Not unexpected given that she is 38 and post-Olympics is a natural time for retirement, but still it is a bit weird. I went on my first skiing holiday in 2003, came home and found that Channel 4 then broadcast a couple of hours of cross-country skiing in the middle of the night. I was not an instant fan, which honour went to Bente Skari* for the remaining few weeks of the season, and noticed Bjørgen only in the next season, when Skari had retired and Bjørgen broke through to the top. But she has been there every since, with occasional pitfalls and one season on maternity leave, and it is going to be really weird to watch next year and know she won't be back.

Thanks, Marit, it's been a lot of fun.



*I have often liked the people who are at the top. And why not, they're good!

Hope is always a risk in sport, but when yesterday evening I looked up Marit Bjørgen's results in the 30km and saw that she has only not won the race three times since 2008, I allowed myself a bit of it. And she certainly delivered today with a masterful performance that had me writing all the cliches of sports journalism in my head*. Bjørgen has one individual gold, a relay and pairs event golds, a silver and a bronze (shared!) this Olympics, making her the most be-medalled Winter Olympics competitor of all time.



I love the long-distance ski races and both yesterday's men's 50km** and today's 30km were terrific; connoisseurs' events, perhaps, in the way that they unfolded through individual brilliance rather than the fun of a big pack racing together through the distance, but delivering a great combination of individual grit in going it alone and the fun of hot contention for the other medals. I actually found myself yesterday evening looking up cheap flights to Oslo for the Holmenkollen races in a fortnight's time - before I remembered that I'm going to Hamilton with my parents. Standing in the cold for two days probably isn't the greatest idea right now anyway.

Amidst the victory celebrations spare a thought for poor Teresa Stadlober of Austria, who managed to take herself from a good chance of a silver medal to ninth place through going in the wrong direction. Twice. Sometimes it just isn't your day.

And now it is all over for another four years and I can spend my time on something other than watching television and activities that can be done while watching television (finally I have ironed the summer T-shirts at the bottom of the laundry basket). Well, except when I'm watching repeats. Inspired by watching other people working really hard I even took my (kick) scooter out for a spin. Only 3km rather than 30, but a start after an utterly dreadful few months as far as any exercise has been concerned. I can balance again! Always a good thing.

*As a friend who learned Russian through the medium of post-match interviews in football and ice hockey put it, context gives you great clues. You are always going to get "the ref was blind,", "the boys done good", or "we were robbed". Likewise by halfway through the races of today and yesterday we were guaranteed to get "en maktdemonstrajon" and "ensom majestet" in the first two sentences.

** Iivo Niskanen, Finland.

Four weeks today to the Olympics! Technically it's four weeks tomorrow, as the opening ceremony is on Friday 9th Feb, however there are qualifying events on the 8th Feb and indeed on the 9th before the evening ceremony. You can see the daily schedule here. It must be pretty galling to be picked for your country's team, travel to the Olympics, compete - and then fail to qualify before the event even officially gets started.

So with winter sport in mind, it's time for some warm-up recs.

(1) Yuri on Ice

In the trackless wastes of A/B/O and AUs of every stripe that you can imagine that have taken over the Yuri on Ice tag on AO3 there are nonetheless still oases to be found. Or at least whatever the winter sport equivalent of an oasis is.*

nothing gold can stay by Naraht
Chapters: 10/10
Fandom: Yuri!!! on Ice
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Yuri Plisetsky & Victor Nikiforov, Yuri Plisetsky & Yakov Feltsman, Lilia Baranovskaya/Yakov Feltsman, Yuri Plisetsky & Lilia Baranovskaya, Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Otabek Altin & Yuri Plisetsky
Characters: Yuri Plisetsky, Victor Nikiforov, Yakov Feltsman, Lilia Baranovskaya, Katsuki Yuuri, Otabek Altin
Additional Tags: Rivals, Post-Canon, Growing Up, Coming of Age, growth spurt, Injury, 2018 Winter Olympics, Aging, Saint Petersburg, Moscow, Boston, London, Ballet, Wedding, Russian Orthodoxy
Summary:

Yuri Plisetsky will never step out of Victor's shadow. Not if Victor has anything to do with it.

Or, the epic Nikiforov-Plisetsky rivalry in the run-up to the 2018 Olympic Games.

This is a rare fic that is sport-focused and gets the feeling of competition right. Much as I enjoy the comedy and the characters, the fact that the anime is about figure skating is also critical to my enjoyment. The sport isn't a random setting, it's a plot driver, and the characters' roles as international level sportsmen is critical to their characterisation.** And the same could be said of the fic: it's long, it's got great settings, and it's very funny, but most of all it matters that they are skaters.

The random and the ridiculous

The new year began with the Tour de Ski, which was nice of it since it also began for me with a viral infection and lying on the sofa watching people zip round the snow was just what was needed. Alas, the fourth race had to be cancelled due to terrible weather. But that was a small price to play for the glories of the fifth race, which thanks to pouring rain and a shortened course due to the fact that the rest of it was covered in the trees that had blown down was absolute carnage. Normally I like to watch people skiing, but every so often it's great to watch them falling over. A lot. (Especially when the UK's entrant didn't - spot him in the blue at the front in the vid.) And so I give you Chuck Norris shooting skiers.



*Untracked powder on avalanche-safe slopes, probably. Not that is much use for ice skaters.

**When I was off sick from work at some point earlier this year I finally caught up with Verdens Beste Skijenter, a series about the Norwegian women's ski team as they were preparing for the 2015 World Championships. Two things stick in my mind from this: firstly, how much if you want to succeed at the top level in an endurance sport you have to enjoy all the associated training as well as the fun parts, because there is a lot more training than anything else, and secondly a serious of responses to a question along the lines of 'who do you race for?' Parents, partners, siblings, grandmother were mentioned, but Marit Bjørgen, the most successful cross-country skier of all time answered in the way that a champion does: Me. Bjørgen appears to be a very warm and friendly person, but you don't get to the top without a ruthless streak.

Edinburgh is going to host a ski race! Not until February 2020, but nonetheless, Edinburgh is going to host a cross-country world cup ski race. This aforementioned bid has been successful, and it's hosting the first stage of a tour that will then to go Sweden and Norway. As you can imagine, I am quite excited.

Unsurprisingly, there's not a lot of news on it in English, but I'm amused that translated press release includes my anticipated virtuous comment about getting more countries involved. It should be brilliant, I just hope it doesn't pour with rain. It wouldn't be a problem for the snow, but it would make spectating a lot less fun.

I am home from my skiing holiday, and lo! it was good. The aforementioned course was brilliant. While I would not proclaim myself a champion skater, I was respectable and it was a lot of fun. I'll definitely be doing more of it in future. Also bonus language practice thanks to the tiny group of two German speakers and two English speakers* each of whom knew the other language a bit, but not sufficiently to make either one dominate conversation*. The Alps were spiky and impressive even when the föhn was blasting a hair-dryer at the snow**, and a glass of wine with dinner less than a third of the price of Norway. It was all very easy and restful and I didn't have a cold during it (or, so far, after) for the first time in years.*** I expect next year to revert to where my heart lies, in the high white wilderness of the Norwegian fells, or at least Finland, but for this year the logistically easy and more populous version with shops was definitely what I needed. I managed just enough fitness to make the most of it, though at times it felt very noticeable to me that I had a veneer of energy laid over a pit of absence. But much as ice starts on the top of the water rather than the bottom, the veneer can in time be built into the real thing.

Back to work tomorrow! I feel simultaneously refreshed and reinvigorated for it and terrified of my inbox.

* The coach was Swedish and explained everything twice.

** Except the day it rained. I did my course in the morning, a diligent 3km of practice afterwards, and then went to the 'sauna world' to get rather more pleasantly drenched and hang around in a heated pool outdoors in the rain.

*** I have now not had a cold for about 5-6 weeks. This is amazing, maybe I've finally run out of new ones.

Many years ago, I read Tim Moore's account of cycling on Iceland, Frost on my Moustache. Other than it being gently amusing, I remember only two things from this book. The first being the dirty joke that gave him the title, the second one of the most useful pieces of advice in my adult life.

Anyone who was bought outdoor walking or other sports or exercise gear in the last few decades will know about 'layering'. Base layer - optional mid-layer - outer layer. It is the gospel upon which the well-dressed hiker's comfort is built. But almost all resources on this subject omit a really crucial piece of information about how to make the layering system work: that your base layer, i.e. your long underwear that clings mercilessly to your body, must be something that you are willing to wear, on its own in a public place with people looking at you. Because if it isn't then you can't make the layering system work.

Moore illustrated this with a vivid descripion of the cycling undergarment he had purchased, which he likened to an Edwardian fetish costume,* and the horrendous experience of trying to get out of it. I simply stood in Marks and Spencers and contemplated the black sports long underwear, and the otherwise identical white, and considered which I'd rather be wearing when I had to strip off my fleece. I bought the black.

And in short, that is why, 14 years later and thinking that maybe I am allowed a new set of sports long underwear and will go for an extra-warm set, I have once again bought the black. Admittedly the insulated downhill ski jacket I've just bought is in women's mountain purple, which I object to on principle because so much stuff is made in it, and also because it really suits me and I would like to be able to choose it, and not just have it because it is the Girls' Version, but because it is nice and also because outer layers should be colours that search and rescue can spot.**

TL:DR I blame the patriarchy for making me dislike pink. Also, I don't care how warm merino thermals are, I do not find them non-itch.

*Having years later seen a man walking up Vulcano in a cycling undergarment, I can only say that (a) Moore was right, and (b) I'm never going to forget that sight.

**Admittedly it is highly unlikely that search and rescue will need to, but you never know. Even so, my cross-country jacket is ivory, because the alternative was fuchsia pink, and I just couldn't.

Edinburgh may host a ski race in 2020!

Ahem. Unfortunately, I can't find a news story in English*, but in short, the Norwegian and Swedish national cross-country ski bodies have submitted a bid to the International Ski Federation to host a multi-stage tour in February 2020. This would, unsurprisingly, be held in Sweden and Norway, with the rather more surprising exception of the opening race, to be held in Edinburgh!

This is not actually as daft as it sounds. Snow always has to be carted in for city races anyway, there will be stored snow available at that time of year, and the temperatures will be low enough to sustain it for a few days. As I have said before, it is a good deal less stupid than holding the Winter Olympics in Beijing. The Norwegian ski federation already works with the British ones on matters of mutual interest**, and the press release gets to say something virtuous about the importance of inviting more nations to be involved with world cup races. I'm not sure when decisions are made, but my fingers are going to be firmly crossed!

*In Norwegian.

**I.e. British access to snow and resources, Norwegian brownie points for working with a small nation in the sport.