He's no Jeremy Hardy - and Wimsey ficlet

[nineveh_uk]

In the interests of preserving the artistic integrity of I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, I feel that Rob Brydon should be forced to perform all his songs in a diving mask.

Having whinged at length yesterday about corporate-speak in job adverts, it occurred to me that these days, Death Bredon would never have got a job at Pym's Publicity. At least, not without going through a lengthy recruitment process.

*

“Thank you, Mr Bredon,” observed Mr Pym. “Your CV is certainly most impressive. However we at Pym’s Publicity never appoint anybody to a position without first requiring them to undertake a full portfolio of psychometric testing, personal calibration exercises, and Find Your Niche! questionnaires in order to ascertain just which particular position in our organisation is not only right for us, but right for you!

“Sounds fascinatin’,” said Bredon. “But if you would indulge my curiosity – dreadful habit, curiosity; incurable, too – when did you introduce this most interestin’ regime?”

“Oh, about two years ago.”

“Did you perhaps accompany it with the institution of performance-related pay, peer appraisal, and compulsory away days at Margate?”

“Why, Mr Bredon! I see that I am speaking to a fellow believer! You are quite right. I am particularly proud of our “Parachute Club” outings promoting self-development and team-building.”

“I don’t suppose,” said Bredon with some diffidence, “that it was the late lamented Mr Dean who introduced these jolly schemes?”

“It was indeed,” said Pym. “You can imagine how hard his loss has hit out Human Capital department. Why, the copywriters have still not had their peer appraisal!”

“Hmm. Well, I’m terribly sorry, Pym old boy, but I really don’t think that I can take the case. I’ve had a good chinwag with the copywriters, and a look at the fearfully knobbly iron staircase, and I’m afraid that there’s no doubt about it – poor old Dean was the author of his own end. A piece of advice, if I may – fearfully impertinent of me, I’m sure – but I hear that the latest edition of Our Forwarding Together! raises doubts about peer appraisal – rather stressful for the HC chaps, donchaknow, and failing to deal with immediate problems in the way that a daily Unstructured Team Mutual Orientation meeting does. They recommend eleven as the best time – creative juices flowing and all that. I’m sure you’ll see it work wonders for morale. Well, toodle-pip!”

*

The ever-reliable Ladies Against Feminism continues to provide its sure-fire cure for low blood pressure. This week I am amused/horrified by But I Am Submissive!

Be on the lookout this week for manipulative reactions to your husband’s requests. If he asks you to do something (that is not sinful) and you get the urge to show your disapproval with a healthy dose of the “silent treatment,” repent right away and out loud. Confess to your husband right then and there that you were tempted to control him by ignoring him and ask him to hold you accountable.

Oh yes, tell him you've been a bad girl and want punishing! Kiss that rod! Hold me accountable, baby!

Still not as mind-boggling as the LAF review of the BBC's North and South, though.

Comments

[azdak.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, hooray for Daily Unstructured Team Mutual Orientation Meetings, and double hooray to Bredon for refusing to take on the job, thereby saving Mr Talboy from a Dreadful End. Fearfully knobbly iron staircases and Dean being author of his own end also come in for a rousing cheer. In fact, top notch stuff all round.

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

What's the Terry Pratchett phrase, "suicide by [something-or-other]"?

Can you imagine the nervous breakdown one would end up with for condemning the socially-responsible ender of the life of the man who introduced peer appraisal? Altho' he might well get off on manslaughter.

[biascut.livejournal.com]

Does "culture" really "abound" in the South? It sounds rather dangerous: "Danger! Low flying Culture!"

And I love the language of your fic, although I recognise not the characters!

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

For a given value of culture, that is, pretty countryside, a lovely big house, and photogenic peasants. Culture up north is tougher, and involves more seagulls.

[Fic is spoof on "Murder Must Advertise" by Dorothy L. Sayers (Bredon is her hero Lord Peter Wimsey in disguise, don't ask) who is marvellous, and though possessing some of the defects of her time - notably classism and occasional anti-semitism, though both limited compared to people like Ngaio Marsh - wrote books that are feminist and funny and clever and complicated, depressing as it may be to read "Gaudy Night" and realise that some things haven't moved on much in 70 years]

[legionseagle.livejournal.com]

Was that the absolutely fucking appalling travesty of North and South where he kisses her in the railway carriage and sacks someone for smoking cigarettes in the factory, despite the fact that 1) only three places in the entire country would be selling cigarettes at the end of the decade; and 2) anyone lighting up in a cotton mill would have been beaten to death by his fellow employees long before the gaffer got to find out, and for good reason?

Also, has the author not worked out that the reason why she used to live next to the church in Helstone was that they were living in the Vicarage and that the reason they moved was that her father ceased to believe in God and hence felt he could no longer draw his stipend as a vicar under false pretences, despite practically everyone else in the book, including his wife, telling him "Why not> Everyone else does?'

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

That would be the one. Kissing in a state of undress, IIRC (possibly not. IR very little of it). However I don't think that observation and logical thought are required of a "Titus II wife".

[(Anonymous)]

Feels compelled to point out that he has not actually ceased to believe in God - that's made very clear in the scene where Higgins, Margaret and Mr Hale pray together - but that he no longer believes in all of the 39 articles of the CofE. That doesn't stop him drawing his stipend as a vicar so long as he can keep this change of heart private - what makes him resign is when he has to reaffirm his belief in the 39 articles when being offered a new benefice. And whether or not you actually had to believe in the 39 articles to be a member of the CoE was a point under general contemporary debate...

[azdak.livejournal.com]

Rob Brydon should be forced to perform all his songs in a diving mask.


Good God, I have just listened to this. He certainly explodes the format.

[bookwormsarah.livejournal.com]

Ladies Against Feminism? Oh, where to start...

(firstly by pointing out to them that if they want to state that people should read their first page in its entirity, they should try and make it a little shorter...). The Bible references do say much about the slant.

The North and South review did make me wonder if they had been watching a different programme. Just shows how different people can hold wildly different interpretations of the same story.
Unlike most worldly films, this one does not hit the viewer with any obvious carnal exhibition, but leaves the viewer feeling respected and dignified. What a gem. I shall

Where did you find the site? Have you explored Conservapedia? I use this if I'm feeling particularly apathetic. The entry on homosexuality makes particularly fume worthy reading.

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

I think I found the link via daegaer. It is certainly another world! Conservapaedia sounds...interesting. I am impressed with the way they attempt to imply that there wasn't actually a proper second world war until America arrived, with all that invading Poland stuff just Europe being weak.

[themolesmother.livejournal.com]

I agree with Peter. Anyone who introduces performance related pay, peer appraisal and compulsory awaydays in Margate is obviously suicidal!

MM

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

He's practically a candidate for the Darwin Awards!

[aervir.livejournal.com]

After reading that North and South review, I feel almost dirty for actually enjoying this mini-series quite a lot. Although the kiss in the railway carriage mentioned above made me twitch for the wrong sort of reason, too: "No, noo, nooo, that's historically WRONG!" instead of, "yes, oh my God, yes, isn't that sweet and sexy and romantic?"

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

I didn't see most of it - I got annoyed with something (probably the It's Grim Oop North) early on, and only saw snatches thereafter. I would quite like to see it. I am tempted to recommend Armitage in "Robin Hood" to the dear ladieas at LAF...

[oursin.livejournal.com]

I am evil, because 'Passionate Housewives Desperate for God' sounds to me like a 70s porn film, featuring a window-cleaner called Godfrey.

[tree_and_leaf]

It makes me think of bridal mysticism, but that's just the thesis eating my brain - everything starts to sound like bridal mysticism after a bit, even 70s porn films.†

† Actually, I was recently reading an article about Donne, Traherne and gay subtexts which did go on at great length about porn films involving Catholic priests and crucifixes....

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

One of the endorsements does state "Prepare to be stimulated, challenged, and encouraged as a woman." To which "Ooh err missus" and the brandishing of very large candles on the part of Godfrey can be the only appropriate response.

[tree_and_leaf]

I loved the ficlet. The website link, on the other hand, makes me twitch violently. Although I would agree that passive aggressive cold-shouldering probably does constitute a sin, but not for the reason she thinks. God made you a vertebrate for a reason, woman, and it wasn't so that you could embrace the challenge of becoming a jellyfish, for God's sake argue it out like a human being would!

[azdak.livejournal.com]

I would agree that passive aggressive cold-shouldering probably does constitute a sin

I'm not at all sure that that "confess" advice wasn't written by Screwtape, who has a keen insight into the hellishness of passive-aggressive cold-shouldering. Think how quickly the husband is likely to fall away from Christian charity if he's living with someone who every five minutes bursts out with "Oh darling, I have to confess to evil thoughts about you because of the way you never turn the lights out before you go to bed, even though if I've asked you once I've asked you a thousand times, and it's so bad for the environment and it's not as if you earn so much that we can afford to just burn money, not like the Smiths, but even so, it was very wrong of me to think that perhaps a more thoughtful husband wouldn't do that sort of thing. Would you put down hat newspaper and chastise me? You know, you never listen to a word I - oops! That was an other evil thought!" And so on, ad nauseam.

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

I admit I read these sites as a sort of vulgar anthropology; it does feel a bit like being a 1920s explorer somewhere in Malaysia observing courtship rituals (they contain a lot on courtship rituals. Indeed they are possibly some of the more sex-obsessed sites on the internet, in an odd way). Miss Annersley indeed would not approve.

[Oh dear. Now I have an idea for a Chalet fic in which Reg takes a post in America and Len Maynard ends up becoming a surrendered wife.]

[marginaliana]

Ahahaha, oh, dear, your Wimsey snippet made me cackle rather delightfully. Thank you.

Also, I really should keep up with ISIHAC. I acquired a collection of past episodes a couple of months ago and have been systematically listening my way through them, but I always forget to listen to the new ones online.

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

I am terrible at remembering to check the radio listings, and catch up with things I have missed, but happily I caught an advert for ISIHAC and arranged to be cooking at the right time.

[grondfic.livejournal.com]

He sounds ideal.

[missfoxie.livejournal.com]

*giggles heartily at the ficlet*

Oh my, that LAF site is just....*shakes head*

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

In some areas Lord Peter remains determinedly old-fashioned.

[lareinenoire.livejournal.com]

I'm highly disturbed in general, though I did rather like North and South (admittedly the fact that a certain Mr Armitage has lovely blue eyes had a bit to do with that). That being said, I haven't read the book yet so I really can't say anything about accuracy.

By the way, I do still have turkish delight if you'd like it. I'll be in college tomorrow and can drop it into internal mail then if you could give me an address (my e-mail address is on my profile if you'd rather not post it).

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

It is all a bit unnerving...

Have emailed re. Turkish Delight. Quite definitely still like!