Fics I want to read, but my life is too short to write

[nineveh_uk]

It’s not that I haven’t got the ideas, but meanwhile there is a student attending a lecture on Dementors in Wittenberg who has been trying to get out of the door before he is sick for far too long.

So, without in anyway saying "Write it, write it, write it" to other people, this is what I have decided my life is too short to write and wish someone else would do instead:

(1) I want to know about the Vor maidens who are paraded past Gregor, but fail to do the job. Imagine it: excited and expectant parents, girls being shown as a favour to their fathers, would-be fiancés wondering what is going to happen, and of course the women themselves. We see it from the POV of Alys and Gregor, but not from the meat in the meat-market.

(2) I am incapable of reading the words “Lord Vorhovis” without thinking of his counterpart, “Lord Vorburton”. Fields of wheat (Wheat! Wheat! Fields of wheat!) on the Southern Continent.

Comments

[caulkhead.livejournal.com]

"How come Count Vorhovis gets his own tune, and none of the others do?" asked Nicky, as they waited patiently for the band to finish.

"Nobody really knows," Miles admitted. "Something to do with his Old Earth ancestors, apparently. And nobody understands their motto, either."

[ankaret.livejournal.com]

*loves*

[rosathome.livejournal.com]

You can't put a better bit of butter on your knife?

[caulkhead.livejournal.com]

That sounds suspiciously like something Peter Wimsey came up with for Greenfields margarine (Google tells me it's Country Life - must have missed that one)

'Wi'nowt taken out.' Possibly translated into cod Latin.

[sam-t.livejournal.com]

That's Allinsons!

Now I'm looking at Hovis slogans through history (http://www.hovisbakery.co.uk/pdf/Hovis_History.pdf), trying to find one that could become a motto. "Promotes Digestion" would certainly be mystifying, and "Ensures a Healthy Race" has rather unfortunate connotations. I quite like the idea of the armsmen being traditionally known as the Sandwich Men ("Are You A Hovis Sandwich Man?"). How about "The Best of Both Worlds"?

I've also found out that Ridley Scott directed some of the Hovis TV adverts. Hovis Family/Bladerunner crossover, anyone? (Hovis Family/Gladiator would be too easy, what with his family disappearing into a field of wheat)

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

*Imitates sound of brass band*

Paaa pa pa, Paa pa pa. Paa papa pa paaaaa.

I believe that the current theory on the motto (at least by pro-Vorhovis parties) is that it means that the Count's ancestors prided themselves on always rendering to the Emperor what was due to the Emperor, and not taking an undue share of the good stuff for themselves.

[biascut.livejournal.com]

Haha!

A Flower of Vor Maidenhood

[adina-atl.livejournal.com]

Her father patted her awkwardly on the back in consolation, suppressed terror in his eyes that she might start crying. She quivered her lower lip and his cringe became more pronounced.

"But Daddy, everyone knows that...that...that I was presented and he ignored me! How am I going to show my face at the dance next week? They're going to laugh at me, like they laughed at Lady Sophia! I wish I were dead! I wish I never met the emperor!" Her lip was now at full quiver, her eyes wet. She gave a ladylike sniffle and he blanched.

"How--how about that trip off world you were talking about last month?" he blurted, panic barely averted. "I'm sure this will have all blown over by the time you get home!"

A week later she was comfortably ensconced in an engineering class on Beta, where no one expected her to marry anyone.

Re: A Flower of Vor Maidenhood

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

Of course! No wonder there's a demographic crisis among the Vor. Half the women have fled the planet (or the Vor) to avoid social humiliation. I am glad that your FofVM at least had a sympathetic, if desperate, father.

Re: A Flower of Vor Maidenhood

[adina-atl.livejournal.com]

I may need to rework this. I didn't mean her father to be so much sympathetic as terrified of "hysterical women," and she was milking that to get exactly what she intended before she ever agreed to be presented to the emperor.

Re: A Flower of Vor Maidenhood

[bronze-ribbons.livejournal.com]

I love this. Womanly wiliness at its best. :-)

Re: A Flower of Vor Maidenhood

[adina-atl.livejournal.com]

It's not exactly an admirable trait, but when it's your only means of controlling your own life, you do what you have to.