Wimseyfic fragment: Breaking news

[nineveh_uk]

The bodyswap fic remains 500 words or so short of an ending. That's what weekends will have to be for (and mowing the lawn). In the meantime have a fragment of early Busman's Honeymoon off-stage action in the Dowager Duchess's house.

Breaking news

The Duchess of Denver's chauffeur, having delivered his mistress to her mother-in-law's house, drew the car round to the mews and went in search of refreshment. Her grace the Dowager Duchess had recently purchased a large and luxurious saloon car, no doubt on the recommendation of her younger son, and he was eager to hear about it and should opportunity arise, drive it. Unfortunately his counterpart in the Dowager's house, while forthcoming with the tea and cake, appeared to have other things than motor vehicles occupying his mind.

'You'll never guess who's 'ere,' said Collins, resisting all suggestions that a trip to the garage was in order.

'You tell me. The Queen of Egypt?'

'Rarer. 'arriet Vane. You know, 'is lordship's bit of stuff.'

'She never is! And her grace calling. There'll be fireworks at home tonight, just you wait. The air'll be blue over Mayfair.'

Collins nodded sagely.

'She is. Wednesday, too. Came to call, stayed for tea and dinner and I drove her home after ten with a portrait of his lordship in a silver frame.'

'That mean it's official, then? Notice in the Times and all?'

'Tomorrow, according to Franklin. She had to place it for her grace, on account of his lordship being in Rome.'

'Poor bugger, you'd think they'd let him enjoy it. What's she like? Her picture's nothing to write home about.'

'She's not bad looking. Dresses decently, and a good arse. No tits, though.'

'Ah,' said Smith, 'his brother's like that, too. Leastways,' he conceded, 'when it comes to marriage.'

'Funny to think of it going by families.'

'I don't know. The old Duke wasn't like that. Her grace were a looker in her day.'

'Maybe it's Freudian,' said Smith, who read a good deal. 'A reaction against the mother. Still, I daresay his lordship knows what he's getting.'

'That's likely enough. I wonder what his nibs thinks of it? His nose'll be well out of joint if his lordship gives up the flat and he has a butler over him.'

'I wouldn't take that job for a thousand a year. Not that Bunter isn't a decent sort off-duty, and he always stands his round, but he's a devil on it.'

Collins nodded vehemently. 'I heard him once when the garage scratched his lordship's car. You'd get more sympathy and understanding out of Genghis Khan. You've got to hope for the girl's sake that he approves of her.'

Comments

[littlered2.livejournal.com]

'She's not bad looking. Dresses decently, and a good arse. No tits, though.'

'Ah,' said Smith, 'his brother's like that, too. Leastways,' he conceded, 'when it comes to marriage.'

I suppose it's nice that Peter and Gerald have something they can bond over.

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

It's these little shared experiences that bring a family together.

Clearly some formative childhood experience gave them a (canonical!) preference for marrying flat-chested women (or alternatively, they both had early flings with women who were better-endowed and have been reacting against that every since). Mind you, Helen canonically hasn't much of a bum, either.

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

What is canon on Helen's figure? All I can think of is a reference from Thrones, Dominations, which may not be original DLS.

[ylla.livejournal.com]

'thanking heaven that she had retained her figure, which indeed she had, having been remarkably flat on both aspects throughout her life' - misquoted from memory :)

I *think* it's the garden party in Murder Must Advertise, if only because I can't think of more Helen POV!

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

Ah, I now see I had mis-read the previous comment. I remember this quote about Helen's figure, but I thought the previous comment about been about Harriet's. "My bad", as I believe our trans-Atlantic cousins would say.

Is there any canon on Harriet's figure?

[ylla.livejournal.com]

Hmm, good question!

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

The TD reference is to a fellow-guest at the opening dinner party thinking, "What a figure!" (also a misquote from memory) - but I have no idea whether DLS or JPW wrote this.

[ylla.livejournal.com]

Best I can come up with (from Gutenberg this time) is:
'I'm always apt to think of her, still, as a gawky and dishevelled First-Year, all bones, with a discontented expression.'

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

Ah, yes; thanks.

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

I think I was talking about them both, but then being more specific about Helen (as I am not aware of any canon in relation to Harriet's bum!). ylla has identified the Helen quote. For Harriet, published canon is vaguer - we know that she is slender (but not, I think, slight - there are plenty of references to her strength, so she's probably not got a tiny frame), tall, possibly a bit bony.

The TD "what a figure" bit is DLS, from memory, but Sayers' draft - the one JPW had access to - actually has a brief Gerald POV moment in which he considers that she's decent-looking in her way, and specifically has him thinking that Harriet's bosom is on the small side, but acceptably shaped! (It's actually a rather better moment than that makes it sound, because there's an interesting character bit with Gerald and him trying to build a relationship with Harriet and to like her, because he cares for Peter and wants him to be happy, and I think that JPW was daft not to include it.)

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[littlered2.livejournal.com]

She and Peter are roughly equivalent in height and shoulder-breadth, based on her musings after Peter picks up her gown instead of his own in Gaudy Night, but whether that means Harriet's frame is slight or not depends a bit on how one views Peter.

[sonetka.livejournal.com]

The Dean's reference to Harriet being "all bones" when she first arrived at Shrewsbury makes me think that she was fairly flat in both aspects as well; of course, a lot can change between nineteen and thirty-two, but since she's still fairly slender and hasn't had any shape-altering babies she probably hasn't filled out excessively in either area.

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

Good point. Most people are a bit more 'grown up' looking at 32 than 19, but she's unlikely to be transformed.

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

Peter is definitely of a relatively light build (although with good shoulders, as Harriet observes in HHC). I tend to imagine Harriet's frame as a bit like those terribly healthy-looking young Dutch women one sees, who are slim, but with quite broad shoulders.