It's a meme

Many years ago, when I was eight or nine and playing third clarinet* in the Leeds Schools Town Hall Concert (junior version), one of the pieces was Sheep May Safely Graze. Unsurprisingly, as this was a piece for orchestra rather than wind band, the third clarinets did not have an exciting part. It was years before I realised that our unexciting part was actually part of the tune. Nor did I really see what it had to do with sheep. Anyway:

Name up to three fics you think I will never, ever, ever write. In return (and if inspired), I will attempt to write a snippet of one of them.

*Back in the day when the LEA provided free instrument lessons for (selected) children aged 7 and up, plus loan of instrument for first year. My 4 - 9 primary school had an orchestra (which was more than my high school did), and I didn't pay for a clarinet lesson until I was 16.

See below for:

A Day in the Life of Argus Filch requested by themolesmother
Andromeda Black fangirls Stubby Boardman requested by dolorous_ett
Luna Makes a Dress out of the Veil requested by aerama
Teenage Bellatrix's shameless profligate goth lovelife requested by dolabellae

Andromeda makes Harriet and Peter protect Bellatrix and Tonks got rather long so is under the cut. Requested by tweedledani( It seemed that out of battle )