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Following on from my last post and the revelation that Roger Allam was once in Les Mis. I couldn't help it. On the plus side, it isn't songfic, and I don't think the characters have had personality transplants, so as Cabin Pressure fic goes, that puts it considerably ahead of the game already.
Carolyn: Douglas! Think of something!
Douglas: Very well. A banana.
Carolyn: Well, that was constructive. I mean, solve it. Think of a way out to get us of this.
Douglas: It's a difficult one. Perhaps I could come up with a solution, if only there weren't this pressing issue of Saturday.
Carolyn: Douglas, if you don't come up with something, you will have all the Saturdays your heart could desire. What you will not have is any money for a ticket. They are going to sue us, and it is your responsibility to stop them.
Martin: For God's sake, Carolyn, it's over. They're going to sue us, we'll be bankrupt, and I will be only a man with most of a van. Even Douglas can't solve the problem of a Royal Command performance of Les Miserables missing its Javert because Arthur gave him food poisoning on the flight.
Douglas: I am hurt by your lack of faith. Granted, the reupholstering of the cabin will not come cheap. I wasn't aware that the phrase "projectile vomiting" was quite so literal. But MJN Air is not necessarily doomed. Had Arthur's victim been Cosette, even I might have been hard-pressed for a solution. As it is, I think I may say that the show will go on.
Martin: How? Javert's locked in the toilet with a bottle of Dettol. You're not going to get him out of there even if Carolyn would let you.
Douglas: I believe this is what is known as confession time. Martin, you are not the only MJN Air pilot with a second career. In my youth, I set my sights rather higher than 'airline pilot and sky god'. I wanted to be a star.
Carolyn: Douglas! Think of something!
Douglas: Very well. A banana.
Carolyn: Well, that was constructive. I mean, solve it. Think of a way out to get us of this.
Douglas: It's a difficult one. Perhaps I could come up with a solution, if only there weren't this pressing issue of Saturday.
Carolyn: Douglas, if you don't come up with something, you will have all the Saturdays your heart could desire. What you will not have is any money for a ticket. They are going to sue us, and it is your responsibility to stop them.
Martin: For God's sake, Carolyn, it's over. They're going to sue us, we'll be bankrupt, and I will be only a man with most of a van. Even Douglas can't solve the problem of a Royal Command performance of Les Miserables missing its Javert because Arthur gave him food poisoning on the flight.
Douglas: I am hurt by your lack of faith. Granted, the reupholstering of the cabin will not come cheap. I wasn't aware that the phrase "projectile vomiting" was quite so literal. But MJN Air is not necessarily doomed. Had Arthur's victim been Cosette, even I might have been hard-pressed for a solution. As it is, I think I may say that the show will go on.
Martin: How? Javert's locked in the toilet with a bottle of Dettol. You're not going to get him out of there even if Carolyn would let you.
Douglas: I believe this is what is known as confession time. Martin, you are not the only MJN Air pilot with a second career. In my youth, I set my sights rather higher than 'airline pilot and sky god'. I wanted to be a star.